#Humbling

 Hey y'all!

[Summary at the very bottom cuz I know not everyone has the time or attention span to read this.]

Apparently missions don't last forever :( and I've kind of been doing this for awhile so last week I got an email regarding  My Plan  basically this means part of my missionary responsibilities is planning some stuff for life after my mission. 

Please enjoy a short description of the existential crisis I've been experiencing as I try to make plans.

I've heard tales of a shoulder angel and a shoulder devil. Most iconically Kronk from Emperor's New Groove.

Well, I don't think I have an angel and a devil. This week I felt like I had a shoulder Jacob and a shoulder Esau. Esau likes eating jerky and takes a lot of pride in his hair and is real tough. Jacob likes growing food and flowers and is a real momma's boy. And, like, I'm both. 

Inner Jacob and Esau have been fighting over the birthright. But for me I'm just trying to decide which college to go to. 

Esau says, “Girl, you know which college you want. Just do it.“

Jacob says, “Sister Owens you know which college Heavenly Father wants you to go to and you know everything works out a lot better when you are obedient. Follow the prompting.”

I applied for and was accepted to the Jacob college but I still keep looking at the Esau college and selfishly wishing Heavenly Father will change his mind. But I know Heavenly Father is looking at me and saying, “Trust me.”

And so I'm trusting because Esau college is, for me, a mess of pottage. And right now I want it because I'm hungry and I've been working hard and I want easy. 

But Jacob college means eternal blessings not temporary comfort. Heavenly Father wants me to be happy and he wants me to become more like his son, Jesus, who seldom had it easy. Heavenly Father knows where that is going to happen. 

I am learning humility. It's been a hard lesson, but I'm learning.

Still holding to the rod,

Sister Owens

Summary: Choosing a college is hard. God knows more than you and me and all of us.